class clock party



two touching tales from uncle charlie's class clock haven




gina tron



PRECIOUS TALE 1; FROM SALLY HIGGLESWORTH: I was in Uncle Charlie's
Class Clock Haven, getting ready to purchase a much anticipated class
clock. Class clocks are all the rage these days. Some say they are
here to stay. Some say they are here to blow the traditional class
ring out of the fucking water. Some say that these clocks have
redesigned human dignity as we know it.

I met with the Haven's most prestigious of class clock coordinators, a
power suit-wearing woman whose duty it was to guide me through the
difficult and important process of selecting the right clock themes.
These majestic themes are to be embedded on a sacred clock that you
shall cherish forever. She was guiding me through the process with
such professionalism and sass that Julia Roberts herself would become
envious with murderous rage. We were going through the many binders of
potential choices. I was picking my brain apart hoping and praying
that I would make the right decision. It was a great fear of mine that
I would look back years down the road with sincere regret. A class
clock is something you have to live with forever. I made the informed
decision, with the guidance of my sassy and stern class clock
coordinator, to purchase a two sided clock. It was a bit more
expensive, sure, but I was assured it was well worth the price. I made
my decisions and left the store that day with a sense of relief and
excitement.

A few weeks later, I got the call. My class clock was ready for pick
up. I was so nervous and full of anticipation that I was visibly
shaking. My class clock coordinator approached me with tenderness,
gently rubbing my back as she gently rubbed away my fears; she offered
me a sweet smile and then unwrapped the clock from its blanket of
bubble wrap. When she lovingly unveiled the final result, I nearly
fainted as I was blinded by its beauty. On one side it said
"Cheerleader" with bright pink and turquoise pom poms. On the other
was the image of a girl getting pushed down a flight of stairs.

"Cheerleading and getting bullied," My eyes swelled with tears of
happiness.

"The two most memorable activities of my school years. Thank
you so much for commemorating my most cherished of memories into
this... this…"

"Masterpiece," My class clock coordinator saw how emotional I was
getting and finished my sentence. "It's a masterpiece. And you have me
to thank." And thank her I did. Thank her I did for the rest of my
life.

PRECIOUS TALE 2; FROM BOBBY BILLINGS - AGE 12: A young college lassy
named Bobby Billings was picking out her class clock with the same
frustration and passion as any other colleague. It was especially hard
for her, as she was an aspiring doctor. Becoming a doctor is hard
work. Her class clock coordinator revealed to her a new option
available from Uncle Charlie's Class Clock Haven: customized photos of
students with their mentors. Bobby and the coordinator were discussing
incorporating a photograph of Bobby and her mentor Cassandra onto the
clock. The photo featured Cassandra delicately gliding Bobby's hand
onto a stethoscope so that together they could hear the heartbeat of a
demanding patient. Cassandra and Bobby were going to get matching
clocks, so that they could share these precious memories forever.

THEN EVERYTHING TURNED BLACK. A CLOCK APPEARS WITH BOBBY'S HEAD ON IT. HER HEAD IS SPINNING CLOCKWISE, HER FACE FULL OF WORRY.

Tragedy has struck.

A very sad Cassandra now sits sullenly at her kitchen table. The wall
by her table is bare. It once was bare in preparation of showcasing a
clock of her and her favorite mentee. It was tragic what happened to
Bobby. Her death was mildly upsetting for Cassandra, but the biggest
tragedy of all was the fact that Cassandra will now never have her
face on that clock. She doesn't want to mentor students anymore. She
doesn't even want to be a doctor anymore. Just imagine, never getting
to see your face on a class clock.

@_ginatron

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