crossroads
karlina veras
I was walking down a road. It was straight for a while. It was a long and boring journey; never ending.
I was walking for ages, until there it was: the Crossroad. One way led to Euphoria, the other to Inner Peace.
I sat on a big rock staring at the two signs to a while. Hours became days and before I realised I was in some sort of trance, away from physical reality. I didn’t know which way to go, so I just stopped. I can’t remember how long I stayed there. The time/space continuum was and is still blurry to me.
I’m still lost, I think. I look down and see myself, still staring at the crossroads. Maybe I should just quit. I’m tired of this shit. I should just quit and let myself rot, sitting on that big rock in the middle of nowhere.
So, for some time I did. Until it happened: I woke up.
Years passed. I blinked my eyes and looked down. My clothes where old and scruffy; I was dirty. When I could finally feel again, I touched my face and it felt old. My hair was greasy and thin. I walked into a stream and saw my reflexion. It was confirmed: I had aged. What seemed minutes were actually years. I could barely speak. My bones were stiff, my joints weak.
It was now obvious: I had to choose.
“But why? I want both!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“But you can’t,” I heard a voice say to me. “Choosing one separates you from the other, even if both feel good.”
Ok then, I thought. So off I went and chose quickly: Euphoria.
Maybe one day I’ll get inner peace, but not in this life time, I realised as I walked through the wilderness of my subconscious. I tried to walk back, but the road had closed behind me. It was too late. Now that I had made my decision, my only option was to move forward, for better or for worse. And so I did.
It is a crazy ride, that of Euphoria. Constant raves, glow sticks, hard partying, running, jumping, screaming, sniffing…
Doing everything but sleeping. Feeling, rushed, content, but not necessarily happy; that’s Euphoria folks.
As I carried on down that path, my soul was becoming harder to reach. My thoughts were so, so far away, now that I had moved on.
I was desperate. I could barely hear my soul screaming from oblivion. But the point is, that even if it was, I still did.
I ran so fast that I didn’t look down and fell into a precipice. Suddenly, I was free. I felt the wind in my face, my skin slowly tearing apart. I went from being a body to skin, then to muscles to bones to dust… to nothing. It was painful, but it didn’t matter. I knew what I really wanted from the beginning: Inner Peace. Even if for my body it was too late, my soul was getting closer by the second… Happiness is near.
It wasn’t a maybe; I am convinced.
Inner Peace: until next lifetime.
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