paulina noir's boudoir




Paulina,
I tell you I’ve just heard on the radio that the government has found that 240 new street drugs have become available on the market over the last four years. Oh Lordy, this kind of information just makes my blood boil and I get all aghast and have to fan myself down with my kerchief. What do you think about this travesty Miss Noir?
Oprah


Well Honey what’s up your hole? I mean really a carrot… is that why you walk so funny, I’ll certainly help and eat it back out of your sphincter; two things that I love best in the world is raw sphincter and carrot.

So what’s that again, my, my, my there’s a smorgasbord of new synthetic drugs on the street and what do I think about the situation. Ahura Mazda, sweet cheeks… I think we're looking at a very fine set of circumstances, like let’s get down and party.

The only thing bad about a boatload of new drugs arriving on the streets is not having enough damned bread to buy them. If I had my way Oprah, I’d be lining up each and every one of them and snorting them off of that arse of yours. Plus I’d rub a bit of the harsh ones into your ring just to watch you squirm as it stings.

Now there ain’t nothing better than finding yourself in a stall with two others, they rack up something and as you take that nose dive, you look up for a brief moment to inquire just what kind of powder you’re about to ingest and they let you know they are about as far in the dark as you are.

Next thing you know you’ve done three lines, you’re standing in the middle of the cubicle, they’ve wrenched your jeans down, she’s swallowing your cock whole while he’s giving you the old anilingus on the deep side.

I can hardly believe it in this day and age Paulina. The Supreme Court in India has voted to keep gay sex an illegal act. Oh Paulina, what do you have to say about this discriminatory

and completely ridiculous decision?
Holly.


Well now, I see that lascivious Shiva sitting on his throne at Mount Meru and Vishnu is kneeling before fellating him, while over to the side, if you squint your eyes, you’ll be able to take in Maha Kali scissoring with the buxom Laxmi. Oh that Laxmi, if she’d just give it up for a moment, I’d give her something to chew on.

It’s a veritable same sex wonderland in the Hindu pantheon, so why oh why can’t they just dig it on the ground?

I mean come on… haven’t we moved past this bigotry. It just makes me want to pull my cock out and shove it into every arsehole that’s close by. Like those Supreme Court dinosaurs are being so anal about it… especially seeings they’re all copping off with one another after court's adjourned.

My, my, my, it’s just a complete farce. I cannot see why if my sister wants to eat out her sister and if my brother wants gob some guy’s prick they can’t.

How can our bodies, especially my fine specimen, be in the control of the state and why would they care how we’re getting off anyways. I mean they should be overjoyed that we’re getting off at all.

Like if Krishna ain’t the biggest lady boy there is, with his jewellery and dark lined eyes wafting about in the wilderness, then who is. I mean why do you think he’s got that flute shoved in his mouth all the time. Really if we’re going to get all sacrosanct about it then we should do it like the gods do.

Dear Paulina,
I recently had a guy wanting me to urinate on him, when I expressed my utter disgust to the suggestion, he said I was looking at the situation incorrectly. I beg to differ. What could have happened to this man to make him so defective?
Eye Thai


Ah, sister… what happened to him? Um,

more like you should be asking yourself. What actually happened to you. I mean a golden shower is one of the most delightful experiences one can have. All warm and pissy, trickling down over your throat across you chest and down in between your thighs. Oh my, my thighs… honey if you could see my thighs you’d want to piss on them. Go on stick your hand down in between them.

Anyways, so like yeah what is your problem. This poor guy has been nice enough to ask you to discharge on him and like you get weirded out. What sort of one horse town do you come from?

Now Fast Freddy, he used to love receiving a pretty little Paulina piddle after a big night on the town. We’d do it in the bath tub so like we didn’t have to clean it all up later, dig. Freddy used to sit down in the tub and I’d stand up on the sides with my legs over the top of him in an arch. You should have seen Freddy squirm in anticipation. I mean, I can’t blame him. If I was beneath my legs I’d get giddy to.

I’d begin to pee and he’d be rubbing it through his hair, letting it trickle down over his chin and you know what sister, after you give them a golden shower they bang you like it was the last hole left on this fair earth.

@paulinanoir

if you’ve got an itch that paulina can scratch then drop her a line at paulina@powderzine.com

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