violeta
maru delgado
Last night, the sky gave me wings to fall.
Alejandra Pizarnik
I closed the museum at midnight after a busy exhibition. It was my fourth day in this city and it was getting heavier by the day. Upon leaving, the wind wrapped me softly, icy cold. The night was nude of moon and the sad lanterns lit the humid streets (it was almost romantic). I walked about ten blocks until, by the cold that was going on finely between my legs, I decided to take a taxi. I thought about loneliness, on days like this, it becomes more intense, almost unbearable.
I got to my apartment at a quarter to one; the light of my lamp was lit as I always leave it. The atmosphere was filled with the smell of damp wood and perfume left uncovered in the toilet. I decided to take a hot bath, to get rid of the climate stuck to my body, that weight that just leaves the air after it has rained.
After a couple of hours, I dropped my body softly on the bed, and wrapped myself in the heat, while the smell of the sheets was lulling me until I fell completely asleep. At 3:00 am, a tall, dark man; with long, brown hair came into my room. He had green eyes and by his appearance, he did not seem to be older than 30. Behind his white silk shirt, was drawn a perfect muscularity.
Gradually, he came closer to my bed, sat down beside me, gently stroked my hair, my face, shoulders... his lips were brushing my cheeks, tracing a humid and warm path. He kissed me with a sweetness I’ve never known. His eyes looked at me like a child excited by a Christmas present. He slowly discovered my chest, my waist, my legs... until I was completely naked, he looked at me, touched me, and then I leaned my head on his shoulder.
I felt loved, secure, fully protected. After a few minutes we both fell asleep next to each other.
In the morning, the sound of water in the shower woke me up. I wrapped myself in the sheets wanting to fall back to sleep again in that smell he had left on the pillows. I was falling asleep when he returned, his eyes had changed, they were hard, cold, full of hatred. In his right hand he had a kitchen knife (I was scared).
I could not move while he slowly and with a half smile on his lips, raised the knife and violently slammed it in my left leg, then right, arms, shoulders, abdomen, my whole body started to bleed heavily. The pain was acute at first, and then the skin got used to it. The last time was in the heart, like a wasp sting. I closed my eyes filled with tears and I expired.
I woke up covered in cold sweat on the back. It had been a dream. I was completely naked and that made all my muscles shudder with fear. I put on my dressing gown, took the brown leather bound book that was always on the table at night, trying to remember every detail, I started writing what I had dreamed. I finished it all in fifteen minutes.
I decided to stand up, get dressed and go out for coffee when the hairs on my arms stood on end and fired as sweat heated my neck, when I heard the water sound of the shower. I never got up, got dressed or went out for coffee.
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