born in this despair

mattias tello


We were both born in this despair
Thou and I
Besides the cataclysm
And your shape

I saw you last night
I saw a thin red hair
With a thin red eye
Just to discover how lonely
        And sad
Could be the world in darkness

All this happen in the same moment when
In my bedroom
        Yes, where I keep a spirit of yours
               Where your phantom is lock
The hourglass fell down
Dragging your anima
And your book and
A couple of cheap cigarettes

You know what image came across my mind despite all that?
A month
A February
A February near the beach when I didn’t take a swim
A February where I used to belong
     Just to learn the independent mindless outsiders we are
For everything

I’m also reminded of the day when I thought about those
Dozen excuses just to walk around your brick wall house
        I could never be honest with you
                       Not anymore
And I had to wear leather
You know, babe
That black leather you use to love so much in those
Stupid walkers

All I have to say
My dear
     Furthermore your coal sight
        Your fragile      tender      white      almost fake face
                Your thousand laughs that used to be mine
My dear
All that kept me here
Every time I took a walk
Every time I ate somewhere else
It’s the fact of not knowing
If you would talk to me when
I got home


I wonder      now
What are those voices that
I hear every night
What are those voices that come to me in the morning
Just to say
“I am the autumn whisper
The phantom
So hear
Hear me”
Because you ain’t going back

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